Book Review: Matt Taibbi - The Business Secrets of Drug Dealing

Great use of the serialized novel concept, even though I didn't read it until the whole thing had already been finished. Written as both a memoir and a Seven Habits of Highly Effective Drug Dealers by "Huey Carmichael" (yes, as in "P. Newton" and "Stokely"), an anonymous friend of Taibbi's, this literary treatment/extension of Biggie's famous "Ten Crack Commandments" offers the aspiring young criminal an interesting real-life account of the heady days of marijuana growing and distribution in the Wild West pre-legalization pre-corporate era, as well as, more relevantly, a bunch of practical advice on how not to get busted should you wish to continue running drugs outside the confines of the law. As he says, most drug dealers learn their jobs from movies, so it's neat to see a more detailed and practical set of guidelines than you can get from, say, watching New Jack City over and over again. While in literary terms it's not written with the gripping intensity of a classic like Clockers, the steady rotation of characters throughout the narrative, most notably his on-again/off-again girlfriend Courtney, gives the slow accumulations and rapid dissipations of his various drug empires a poignancy that a more clinical instruction manual would lack. Taibbi's forays into the criminal justice system in his previous books The Divide and I Can't Breathe were phenomenal, and this detour into the life of someone who neatly avoided that system is worth a pass as well.

Carmichael grew up "between two worlds", as they say, shuffling between upper class and working class communities in New Jersey in his youth. His leap to dealing was prompted by his discovery that he was good at it. Throughout the book he's clear-eyed about his place in America, particularly when he had a (fortunately) brief experience with prison. "I believe in money. So does America. Beyond that we don't have a relationship.... America and I, we were two ships that passed in the night. The mindless experience of prison was the only thing we ever shared." Since marijuana is on a seemingly inevitable march towards full legalization, one wonder how well these insights will translate to other drugs and future times. Would a non-fictional Scarface still offer useful lessons for someone running ecstasy? But on that subject, Carmichael made a great point about what the likely effects of legalization will be on the existing drug industry, particularly black people who don't have the access to capital it takes to get big: "People think racism in America is in a word or an image. It isn't. It's in money. The history of our country is that as soon as Black people find a way to build up anything, rich people find a way to take it. Doesn't matter if it's rock n' roll, rap, or subprime real estate. They buy it up and bust it from the inside. This country was founded on capitalism, and Black people were the first commodity sold on Wall Street. Now we'll be the first to be stripped of a business that we built, and in exchange some of us will get housing in Wall Street-backed private prisons."

Bleak stuff, and he's probably right. His complete list of rules, for the curious:

• Always have a job.
• Never let business partners know where you stay.
• Never trade minutes for years.
• Align incentives with potential antagonists.
• Minimize your risk.
• In every deal, at least double your money.
• Never write down anything you wouldn't want printed on the cover of the New York Times.
• Keep your face off the Internet.
• Deal with as few people as possible.
• No guns, but keep shooters.
• Always stay behind the white guy.
• Don't fuck with nobody else's girl, not even an enemy's.
• Always store in a place with a doorman.
• Always leave a dummy stash.
• Always get a pay lawyer. And get the best one there is.
• Always under-promise and over-deliver.
• Always keep your money neat.
• Patronize casinos.
• Trust the postal services.
• Try to work with people you know.
• If you can't afford a hotel room, I'm not doing business with you.
• No business at night.
• Be the last person in any group that walks into any space.
• When dealing with new people, Keep the purse small.
• A loss isn't a loss. It's a lesson.
• Always carry an Allen wrench.
• Embrace racial stereotypes.
• Every time you enter a state, change out your cars. Drive rentals but make sure you've got in-state plates as often as possible.
• Keep your business and your family separated.
• Dress like an off-duty Applebee's waiter.
• Always have a lawyer on retainer.
• Always pay the plug - unless you can't.
• Don't get attached.
• Treat your cash like kids, don't let it stay inside all day and get soft.
• I watch sixty seconds tick off on my watch before I say anything I might regret.
• Plan for the worst.
• If you talk long enough to hear yourself giving a speech, you're probably fucking something up.
• When you do any work, no matter how menial, always find out exactly how much you're worth. Because someone will always try to pay you less.
• In any big operation, don't weigh your foot soldiers down with too many different orders. Work hard to focus on a few simple goals.
• Always be willing to spend money for goodwill.
• Get your money and get out.
• Never count the next man's money.
• Never touch your savings.
• Never run from the front.